Being Mommy: Days 3,4

The days are starting to blur...Tiredness describes the way I feel for most of my waking hours. Last night's sleep could hardly be described as restful. For one, it was freezing cold. Then the kids: Kiara woke up crying twice, I can't count how many times Brendan woke up. But really, in the wee hours of the morning when he's wide awake, and he gives that irresistible smile and coo....you forget how tired you are, how your body aches, and that your eyes don't even stay open. It doesn't matter because you know you love him no matter what.
Today I took Kiara for a walk while Brendan was napping. I needed to clear my head a little, and I also wanted to do something fun with just Kiara. Steve kept an eye on Brendan for me so we could go out. We had so much fun together walking on the road, admiring the view and listening to the silence. It's so amazing how kids love so unconditionally and without restraint! Kiara was just purring with delight to have me all to herself. She asked to hold my hand and didn't stop telling me how much she loved me, how fun it was to be on a walk with me, how much she loved being with me. I of course felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I knew she meant every word. She wasn't trying to "butter-me-up" or gain "brownie points", which is what you would expect hearing things like that from any other mouth, she was just speaking from the heart. That's what made it so special. Needless to say I enjoyed our walk.

Now, Brendan absolutely adores Steve. Since Brendan was 5/6 months old they've had this little "buddy-buddy" relationship. It makes me a little jealous at times. I feel like, "Hey, I'm with you most of the day don't you love me too?" But in spite of that I do understand. It's also a nice reward/change for Steve because when we first got together Kiara was so jealous she really didn't like Steve. That was very hard for him as he was so nice to her, but she got it stuck in her mind that "he was talking me away from her" so she was quite mean to him.
When I'm not wallowing in self-pity I love watching the look on Brendan's face when he sees Steve. His whole face lights up and you can almost feel his little heart overflowing with joy. Steve loves being with Brendan and they're always going off to play guitar or have some buddy time. It's so cute! I've never seen a little baby love someone that much.